International Women’s Day 2016

Happy International Women’s Day 2016!   IWD was established to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievement of women.

Women’s issues have been at the forefront for many years,  but don’t believe the work is over. The progress that was moving so fluidly just a few years ago has slowed in many places across the world.

This year’s call to action is Gender Parity.   Actress Patricia Arquette said it perfectly at the 2015 Oscars, “It’s is our time to have wage equality once and for all” and Hollywood and the world are continuing the conversation.  But that’s not enough, we all need to make the pledge for Gender Parity.

How will you work, live and take action for Gender Parity?

Here is how one of my friends is speaking her truth

The simplest way is to acknowledge it’s real, your actions can do something about it and start the conversation today.

4 Replies to “International Women’s Day 2016”

  1. Hi Aejaie,

    Love your blog. We met at your new place in SJ last October one rainy night. I was a wandering boy looking for his own girl inside, determined I would find her in your shop, and blessed by your presence. You were an Icon to me. That such a high profile and successful Transwoman could be in my presence was amazing. I don’t know if you realize, for some of us, especially older women who recently discovered their identities, meeting others is a big deal. At the same time, like any cross section of life, we all have different tastes and needs and desires, so it is not surprising that there are factions of difference in our community, and even a sense of mistrust. Lets face it, many of us have been hiding for a long time. Trust does not come easy. You hid too, only you did it as your self, bravely too I might add. It is endearing to know that your family had the courage to transition with you, and gave you the blessings of a lifetime of relief from that closet. Only it seems you had found simply a different closet for a time. That you are publicly active on behalf of our ( I say our, because I am just like you. Though I am not fully transitioned, nor am I completely out, it matters little, because WHO we ARE, is not determined by external things, and you know this), our community, the Transgender community. And, as I feel my way through who I am, I am finding that my past is relevant now. How can it not be? Being an older person, it is harder ,with children and career, economic responsibility that crosses to other lives, family, employees, etc. If I had my way, I would be 100% out as myself, even as I chastise myself that I do not look any where near the way I wish I could, that I am not pretty enough and my hair is not nearly as long and young enough, that my imperfections are ever noticeable in every mirror without fail. That I will wake every few days and hate myself, and wish I was born a girl, and cry that I was not.

    I wonder, if you could see any of that in my eyes. I wandered around the shop, not sure what to say. Feeling like I was being watched, as if I might actually be a spy rather than who I am, or feeling like anything I say might actually be made up or it had been heard a thousand time before or that it would be disingenuous. I was scared. Scared out of my mind, because it was the first time I had ever had a public connection with anyone where I included the notion that I was also a girl, looking for a home, a place to feel normal, not judged, not looked at with disgust or disbelief.

    I had a sense that you were tired. That the battle had been difficult and seemingly not getting ground. I also had a sense that you are possibly curious as to why all of a sudden there are so many people coming out of the closet. I wondered if you were judging me, or if I was in fact any different than you, other than we are not the same person. It brought about the notion that I might not be trans enough, or maybe I am mistaken and I am just a man who is weird and likes women’s clothing articles, or some other flaw that I have that is glaringly large and clearly indicates that I am not acceptable to society in either gender.

    Ugn!!. See. The insecurities that run rampant inside a woman’s mind when she cannot be herself? This is my life. It is torturous. But, there is hope. That hope resides with people like you, and people like Paris Lees, and other Trans activists that have been doing the hard work of dealing with the world on a stage, with a platform for equality for LGBT and specifically the issues that surround the Trans community.

    I applaud you Aejaie, and thank you. I know that, what goes on in my mind is just a figment of imagination, most of the time. My insecurities are not different than many if not most of our sisters in kind. I hope to see you again soon, at the salon. I have been full time for 3 months, and in recent days have stepped back, for business reasons, and because a moment at the gym had me really feeling horrible and very insecure with myself. Not looking like a woman is a horrible joke to have had played on anyone that believes they are actually one. That is my hardest issue to bear and causes me the greatest pain in life. It is hard to live in the flux of nothingness, not as a man because no matter how I look, I am not one, and not as a woman, because no matter what I wear and what I say, I dont look like one and therefore could not possibly be one. Even my own mind cannot stand that I do not look like a woman often. What a horrible way to live life. Tossing between genders in a frenzy to find happiness within, and security for life. What we go through is simply torture. All because, the world cannot just say, welcome girls. We accept you and do not have any prejudice to serve you. We accept that you are who you say you are and want to help you live your life as you see is best for you. WE accept that you too can have and believe in a god and do not believe that you are a transgression on our society, not a pariah, not a sinner, but in fact, a real person with real and natural instincts to be who you believe you are.

    Why is that so hard to tell the world?

    Danielle Marie Milejevich

    1. Hi Danielle,

      Thank you for your wonderful letter.
      You touch on so many important subjects and I appreciate your insight, view and reflection.

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